Losing
by Buffy-Angelus
Summary: AtS/BtVS crossover. A death of a loved one, how will everyone deal? Especially with a new evil in town, one that will kill the same dead one again. Please R/R!


A/N:  Please review!  I live on reviews.  ^_^

Disclaimer:  I don't own anyone from Angel or anyone from Buffy.  Anyone you don't recognize I shall claim as MINE.  Along with Angel.  And his leather pants.  ^_^

Time Frame:  After Angel episode "Sleep Tight" and after Buffy "Normal Again", but not directly after.  A month or two after perhaps.  But spoilers are fair up to there.

The whimpers increased from Willow as she began to toss and turn in her bed.  Angel walked over to her and sat down on the bed next to her, stroking her hair.  It was the same every night.  The nightmares, they came at full force.  Willow began to cry out in her sleep.

"Buffy!  BUFFY!"  She awoke with a start, tears streaming down her face.

"Shhh," Angel whispered, holding her close,  "I'm here."  He continued to caress her face and hold her tight as her tears poured from her eyes.  How long had it been like this?  3 months tomorrow, Angel remembered.  He could remember every detail of what it was like, starting from Giles' phone call.

"Angel?" Cordy had asked, knocking on his door.  He had been brooding as he had every day, over that night.  The night Connor had been taken from him.  The night Wesley had died.  He had sat in that little dark, empty space, just staring and brooding.  It was what he did best.  No one ever disturbed him, and when Cordy had knocked on his door, he knew it couldn't be good.

"Giles' called," she had said.  "They need our help.  The Hellmouth is to be reopened."  Angel had stood up quickly, hearing that.  He could remember what had happened the last time that had happened, how they all had almost died.  It wasn't a night he wanted to remember. 

Angel had left with Cordy, Gunn, Fred, and Lorne, to return to Sunnydale.  Angel had almost died last time they had fought it.  This time, however, it was Buffy's turn.  This time, she hadn't been saved.  

Angel had held Buffy in his arms as she weakened.

"Angel… promise me," Buffy had gasped, the blood flowing out of her from her giant wound in the stomach.  "Promise me never to forget me.  But promise me to move on."  Tears had poured from Angel's face as Buffy made him make millions of promises.  "Promise me to take care of things.  Promise me to take care of Dawn.  Promise me to help Giles through this.  Promise me to laugh at Xander's jokes when I can't.  Promise me not to dismiss Spike, but to accept him.  Promise me to get Tara out of her shell, become friends with her.  Promise me to help Anya with human things so she won't be an ex-demon forever.  Promise me to take care of Willow, hold her hand and comfort her like I can't.  Be her best friend.  And promise me you'll never stop loving me."

"That's not even an issue," he had whispered.  They had kissed passionately until their tears had wettened every part of their faces.  

"I love you," she had whispered.

"I love you too," he had whispered back.  Buffy then had collapsed in his arms and his tears drenched her body.  After a moment, however, he had stood up and grabbed a sword.  He began to stab every part of the demon he could see.  It worked and he defeated the demon.  However, he was hardly victorious.  His one and only true love had died in his arms.  Something he'd never forget.

He had kept all Buffy's promises.  Especially taking care of Willow, for she seemed to never pull herself together.  She was always crying and moaning about Buffy.  He didn't blame her.  He would be brooding if he hadn't had to keep all his promises.  He would never break those promises to Buffy.  They were her dying wishes, and he could never break them.  He, Cordy, Gunn, and Fred, had moved Angel Investigations to Sunnydale and combined it with the Scoobies.   He and the others had grown accustomed to life in Sunnydale.  It was hardest for Gunn and Fred, but they managed.  Everyone seemed to pretty much deal.

Except for Willow.

Every night she would have horrible nightmares of Buffy's death.  Every night Angel would sit next to her bed and comfort her when she cried out in pain.  Every night.

There was never a time when **he** was able to mourn.  The others all got to.  But him?  No.  There was no time.  He had to keep Buffy's promises.  He had to help the others through her death.  He had kept his promises.  Even the ones about Spike and Xander.  Every time Angel thought Xander had made a joke, he would laugh.  The first time it happened, the others had been shocked and asked him if he had a fever or was delirious.  Soon, however, they adapted to it.  Yet it was the only time he ever smiled or laughed.  It was for Buffy.  For Buffy, he would do anything.  Even accept Spike.  It was certainly hard sometimes.  At times, he felt like dusting Spike.  He didn't.  Buffy, for one reason or another, actually **liked** Spike.  So Angel had to like him too.  Anything for Buffy.

"Angel, it was horrible," Willow cried, snapping Angel out of his thoughts.  "Buffy, she was there.  I was so close, I could have stopped it, but…"  The tears poured harder, constricting her voice.

"It's ok Willow," he said.  "Everything will be ok."  Suddenly Willow pulled away from him and looked him in the eye.

"It was different though," she whispered.  "Buffy told me… she told me of something to come.  She told me she could come back."

"Willow, you know we've all talked about it.  Remember the last time you resurrected her?" 

Willow shook her head.  "No.  Not me bringing her back.  Someone else.  Th-they're going to use her to gain more power.  And then she'll die again.  Angel we have to stop it."

"Willow, it was just a dream," Angel said.  Not a dream.  A nightmare.

"It seemed so real though," Willow cried.

"I know, Will," Angel whispered, holding her again, "I know."

Angel didn't know why things were the worst for Willow, but she seemed unable to move on.  It also partly had to with Oz's return.  He had returned to Sunnydale for Buffy's funeral.  How he knew about her death, no one else could figure out.  He came, complicating things.  It ended with Oz and Willow kissing, Tara and Willow fighting, Oz and Willow fighting, and finally, Oz leaving.  Again.  And then Tara had left.  She said she needed to figure things out.  That was a month ago.  She was still gone.

To Willow it seemed as her world was falling apart.  Everyday got harder instead of easier, like it should have.  Yet if things went as they should have, Buffy never would have died.

"Angel help me," Willow said, still crying.  "She haunts my every move and breath I take."

"Everything will be ok, Willow," Angel comforted her.

"It seemed so real," Willow insisted.  "The dream."

"It was just a nightmare, something from your imagination," Angel said.

"Can we at least tell Giles about it?"  Willow asked.  Angel looked at her face, so pale and innocent.  Her deep eyes pleaded him, needing him to make things better.  Her scraggly red hair hung around her head, almost as limp as her.  Almost.

Angel nodded.  "If you want to."  Willow hugged him tightly and they stayed like that until sunrise.

Angel stayed at the Magic Box during the day.  It was easiest that way.  He could help Giles and Anya with the business and be there if anyone needed him.  If Willow needed him.  She always did.  Once night came he would patrol or take care of whatever evil they had to face.  Then he'd go to the Summers' house and watch Willow sleep.  It was about then when her nightmares took control of her.  It was the same everyday.  Over and over, it was how things were.  

"Willow, Angel," Giles said as they entered the shop.  It was cutting it close.  Sunrise would begin in just a minute.  "Anything new?"

Willow glanced at Angel tentively and Angel nodded for her to tell him.  Willow had taken to going to Angel for comfort and help.  No one else was as close to her anymore, not even Tara.  He was her Buffy.

"I-I had a dream… a nightmare really," Willow said quietly.

"Yes?" Giles asked, encouraging her to go on.

"It was about Buffy.  I tried to save her, but I couldn't.  She told me before she died, of some evil that would resurrect her and use her for strength somehow.  Then she would die," Willow said.

"Well I hope they have better luck than we did," Xander joked from a back corner.  Angel and Willow hadn't even noticed he was there.

Xander coped differently with Buffy's death than Willow and Angel.  The first two weeks he'd slay every vampire and demon in sight for vengeance.  The third week all he could do was cry and mourn, believe he could have done something to stop that demon.  They all believed they themselves could have stopped the demon.  They all blamed themselves.  Angel blamed himself the worst.

During the fourth week the brooding Xander began to joke and laugh.  Suddenly it was as if Xander was trying to laugh his unhappiness away.  Giles and Angel agreed it wasn't the best way to deal with her death, but he did seem happy.  Happier than Willow, at least.  And that's how things were.  Xander would joke endlessly.  At the mention of Buffy he would hastily try to change the subject or joke.  Willow could barely look at him, or anyone else for that matter.  Except for Angel.

"How dare you say that," Willow said with rage in her voice.  "How can you just joke about her death?!  She only died three months ago!  And yet all you can do is joke about her.  Didn't you even care?!"  The tears had returned to Willow's face.  She looked so fragile to Angel as he held her close.

"It's ok," he whispered, like always.  "Everything's ok."

"I-I'm sorry, Will," Xander said feebly.  "I didn't mean--"

Angel shook his head at Xander, a sign for him to shut up.  Xander limply sat down.  Wasn't it **his** job to comfort Willow, his best friend?  It always had been before.  Before Buffy's death.  Her death had brought a lot out of all of them and changed them all.  Some were only changed minisculy, like Giles, and yet others…

"Willow, it was… just a dream," Giles said gently, making sure Willow didn't fall apart again.  They all had to be careful around her.

"It just felt so real," Willow said.  "Couldn't it have been prophetic?  Like Buffy's dreams?"

"I suppose it is a possibility.  If there really is someone trying to do this, than we should research it immediately."  Willow smiled a half-smile, reassured that things would be ok.  Giles knew everything.  He would be able to fix things.  Everything would be ok.  

A/N:  So how did you like it?  If you liked it, I'll add more.  It's gonna be a one chapter fic, so if I get good reviews I'll finish it and then post it.  It might take awhile, but I will.  So PLEASE review!  ^_^


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